‘My favourite subject at school is history. We learn all about the
old kings and queens who used to live here in Scotland.  They got
to wear really nice clothes, like you see all the time on the telly, 
but my teacher says they weren’t all  like that.  They used to have
to wear smelly wet wool all the time to keep themselves warm.  
Wet wool is disgusting, but that’s what she said they had to do. 
Right now we are doing these people who came to Scotland,
except it wasn’t Scotland, it was Alba way back then. You see,
Alba was really only ever the north part of Scotland, the part
where nobody lives now.  The people who lived in Alba were
called ‘Picts’ and they were always getting into it with the Vikings.
 Then they decided to change the name from Alba to Scotland.     

When I was wee, my mum went away because she wasn’t feeling
very well and she had to go get better. M y daddy told me that it 
was very normal and lots of people at my school had mummies or 
daddies who didn’t live with them anymore.  Except my mummy 
didn’t come back and now me and my brother Billy call Alison
mummy. She’s not really our mum because we didn’t come out
of her stomach, but she takes care of us and our dad and we
love her and that’s enough of a reason to call her mummy.  
That’s what my daddy says anyway.  I get confused though 
because my mum Sally comes to visit.  I came out of her tummy,
and so we should call her mummy too, but Alison is our mummy
because she looks after me, my brother and my dad.  I asked my
mummy Alison  what she wants to be called and she says it 
doesn’t matter. It matters though, I mean look at those people
who kept changed the name of Scotland.  It wasn’t Scotland
then and it is now, the name they changed it too was the one
everyone remembers.  I want to call Alison and Sally names 
I can remember.  

Our teacher looked a bit daft when she told us that one day the
Picts started calling their land ‘Scotland’ instead of Alba.  She
said we should come up with the reasons why they changed the
name.  I didn’t really know why they did it.  Maybe they met 
some nice new people who turned out to be the Scots and since
they got on so well they decided to name their land Scotland so
that they could all live there.  Adults do funny things when it comes
to names.  My teacher said that the Picts were not nice friendly
people, she said they were always fighting with the Vikings.
I  don’t think it’s right to fight with your neighbour.  My
dad says people can get on with other groups and you 
shouldn’t believe all your teacher tells you. 

I asked my teacher because I thought she would know which
one I should call mum.  She was no help at all though and told
me I should ask my dad.  When I got home from school, my 
daddy asked me why I was asking my teacher and why didn’t
I talk to him more about it.  Well, I didn’t  want to get into trouble
so I just said I didn’t know why.  I shouldn’t be scared about
talking about it my dad said.  I’m not scared, but no one can
answer my questions.  My dad won’t tell me which one to 
call mummy.  He says lots of people in my class don’t live with
their daddy and it’s no different.  I do say it’s different though
because everyone knows who their daddy is, but I don’t know
who to call mummy.

My mummy Sally comes to visit us now that she’s feeling better. 
My brother told me that Alison is our mummy, and we don’t
need Sally anymore, even though we came out of her stomach.
She lives in England now.  The English used to come up and
fight Scotland all the time.  They used to wear gorgeous clothes 
then, but they don’t come up and fight us anymore.  My dad says
they don’t fight because everyone is equal now that we have 
Tony Blair, but Billy says that’s why we have football now.
 My mum Sally is still Scottish though, even though she still lives 
in England now, and she says that people in England like
Scottish people.   

My mum in England is coming to visit me again in a fortnight. 
My dad says that she wants to come and visit us now and that
me and Billy can see her as often as we like, but if we don’t want
to, then that’s okay too.  Billy says of course she wants her to
come as often as possible, but that’s just so my dad will give
him extra pocket money and my mum Sally from England will 
take him to the pictures.  I want to see her again, but she told me 
that I could pick the place for us to go.  I really want to go to the
museum again, but Billy said no way was he going there again
because it was crap.  I don’t want to go to the crap museum,
I want to go to the good one that I went to with my school.  They
have lots of pictures of Scotland when it used to be Alba, and lots 
of pictures of gorgeous Kings and Queens and swords and their
gorgeous costumes.  When my mum Sally visits, we’re
going there and it’ll be brilliant.’